Marcy

MARCY

My main situation with dolls is that I never wanted to play with them when I was a little girl.  They were not realistic enough for me, and that pretty much summarizes my whole personality to this day.  And I kind of really didn’t get it.  Why did anybody want to play with dolls?  They’re not realistic in any way, and I have no imagination.  I really had no interest ever in playing with dolls.

So one time when I was in nursery school in the synagogue, the theme of the day was for everybody to bring in their dolls or their stuffed animals.  I had a doll, but I never played with it.  I remember during recess or whatever, some girl was really covetous of my doll and just out of nowhere while I’m like carrying it around, she just punches me.  It was the first time I was ever hit, ever.  I had no attachment to the doll.  I don’t even remember what it looked like.  So, she punched me in the face and took it.  Stole it.  It was a big enough punch so that when my mom saw me I had a bruise and was swollen.  I remember that my mom called that girl’s mom.  The result was that the girl had to apologize to me.  She was weeping and crying because she also had to give me her favorite doll.  I remember feeling totally guilty.  I was really pissed that she hit me, but I remember feeling really guilty because not only did I have no attachment to my doll, but I saw that she was super attached to her doll and I felt guilty that she had to give me her doll.  She had to apologize and give me her favorite doll.  And I could give a shit about her doll.

Yeah, it was wrong that she hit me and I didn’t want her to hit me, but I felt shitty because she really cared about her doll.  I just ended up putting her doll in the bottom of my closet.

Copyright ©2015 Helene Simkin Jara. All Rights Reserved.